Valentine’s Day was a struggle for me last week. It feels like there is ONE day for love to be on display. Kind of like the one Saturday a month where church members show their love for those less fortunate by serving at the homeless shelter or cleaning up someone’s yard. One day to show and tell your love for others just seems so…not enough, so lacking. If we put love on display, is ONE day what it really looks like?
Part of my struggle is that we make love look so pretty and easy; and it’s not. John (the one Jesus loved) gave one of the best definitions for love ever written. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10. So, real original love is defined by an atoning sacrifice. The giving up of something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important, all to make amends or reparations not just a celebration.
Now is when some folks say, yes, that’s what I was doing by serving that one Saturday or taking my significant other out for dinner on Valentine’s…and I hear you. I’m just concerned about our understanding of living a life of love as being shallow, showy and short-sighted. In Galatians, Paul said “The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” So, if legalities were all we need to be concerned with then a few displays of love are OK and we can move on. But, loving someone else like you love yourself requires 24-7 sacrifice.
James reminded us that checking off the legal box of love is not enough. “For whoever keeps the whole law and stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” James 2:10. In 2017, our world needs more than a legal decision or a one day display. “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.” Proverbs 10:12. Love is the only thing that is going to fix what hatred is stirring up.
If John was the disciple that Jesus loved, then I don’t quite know how to describe Peter. Peter probably put on a greater show of love and affection for Christ than anyone. He was verbal and demonstrative. Peter’s Valentine’s Day photos on his Facebook page would have topped everyone’s. But, a few hours after his public display of love he slid into full out denial and turning away from his professed “valentine”. Maybe this is why Peter’s words about love need to sink in with a sense of urgency.
When Peter talks about love he comes from another level and understanding. In 2017 vernacular, Peter says there is love and then there is REAL love. “The end of all things is near. Therefore, be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:7. Don’t just love, do it deeply.
For me, that begs the question. Are we loving each other deeply or are we just loving each other? It’s easy to have and show love to a spouse, your kids, a significant other. Heck, it’s even easy to show love to someone you don’t know. But, how’s your love for the couple that irritates you, the girl who hasn’t paid back the money she borrowed or the ex-spouse who cheated on you? How’s your love for that punk at school who threatens to beat up your kid or the political party that doesn’t seem to know how to lose and accept defeat? Love doesn’t keep score.
Real love isn’t conditional upon you agreeing with my beliefs or even liking them. How can you really love me if you don’t get what you want from me? Loving deeply is a decision and not an emotion. Loving deeply has to come from somewhere other than our attraction to each other, a like-minded belief or the benefits we derive from a relationship.
I’m going to say it and you might not agree or like it. Real, deep, unconditional love is impossible without Christ in your heart…and even then, it’s a daily battle. Bottom line is it’s only a matter of time until you disappoint, deny or forsake me. Oh, yeah, and until I do the same to you. And when that happens, love requires me to be patient with you, to not be easily angered or keep a record of what you just did.
Christ knew love was so critical He made it a litmus test for those who followed Him. Love was not something He considered a good idea, He called it a command. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35. So, Jesus commanded us to do something and told us to look around and you would be able to see his followers by the way they loved people.
Here-in lies the issue, friends. I don’t want to just show and live a Valentine’s Day or Saturday serve kinda love. For me, I need more, I want more. Our WORLD needs more and has got to get more real love. People of different religious beliefs, political beliefs, sexual identities you name it. We are living in a time where the world is framing the argument as either hate or love. I’m afraid there is no middle ground of complacency or ambivalence. You’re either a lover or a hater. We are being forced to choose and don’t forget, “Love never fails.”
Christ threw the answer to it all on the table. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13. Sacrificial, atoning, deep love. That’s what is required in 2017 and Christians have the cure for what is ailing our world….but it takes more than an afternoon serve, a march or a date night with tolerance. “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” 1 Cor. 13:6.
Does your litmus test for loving deeply come out positive or negative? Ask the people around you who weren’t in your Valentine’s Day photos or your Saturday serve. Ask the people around you that are hard to like. Ask the Holy Spirit.